Fear to First Set
First shows feel huge. Prep simple “what-if” plans, expect a wobble, and keep playing - use crowd cues, backup options, and a quick exposure-gig score to turn fear into your first win.
'Do as many gigs as the good Lord sends, That's the only true training' - Suzi Quatro
Your first time onstage can feel massive, especially in front of people you know. Good news: you only do a first once. Every show after gets easier. You find your groove, your voice, your onstage you.
As an open-mic host, I could spot first-timers instantly: back of the room, studying the stage, worried faces. Every seasoned player can describe their own first gig—the nerves don’t vanish; you just learn to turn them into energy.
Why we stall: fear of messing up. We imagine the worst, talk ourselves out of trying, and accidentally block the good stuff too. The fix isn’t pretending nothing can go wrong; it’s planning tiny responses for when it does.
Control the controllables
Keep going after a mistake. Most audiences miss it; momentum is your friend.
Have a backup (second instrument/cables), and a backup attitude (be the first to laugh).
Expect a wobble somewhere (lyrics, gear, a shouty punter). You’re ready for it.
What to do when things wobble
Skip to 2.00 for a great example of what to do when things wobble. God bless you Alex Turner!
If you blank on lyrics
Hum the melody and stay in time.
Sing throwaway lines about forgetting - audiences love the honesty.
Try call-and-response; point the mic, clap a rhythm, or cue a sing-along.
Repeat a line you do remember; most won’t notice. Smile at the ones who do.
If memory loss is terminal, invite a confident singer up for the chorus.
If you blank on chords/riffs
Keep a simple groove going (root notes/strum) until the change returns, then re-enter cleanly.
If gear fails
Don’t restring onstage. Swap to the spare or borrow fast; keep the show moving.
Tune and check before you play; do a quick line check if the host allows.
No spare? Have one pre-agreed acoustic fallback tune you can play cold.
Make first steps easier
Bring a friend onstage (tambourine/harmony). Safety in numbers helps you laugh off the bumps.
Try an open mic: watch first, chat to the host, ask for an early/quiet slot, then play next time.
Plan for Success (Quick Exercises)
What Could Go Wrong / Right?
List 3–5 likely wobbles and 3–5 likely wins. Next to each wobble, write one pre-decided response.
Result: a tiny playbook that turns panic into choices.
Exposure gigs - a fast score (0–10 each):
Right audience?
Aligned with your values?
Fun factor?
0–9: probably skip. 10–19: only if it serves a goal. 20–30: go for it. Final rule: if your gut still says no, it’s no.
Remember: even the greats bungle lines. The pros recover quickly, keep the crowd with them, and carry on.
Fear to First Set: pick one song, one quiet open mic, and one tiny “what-if” plan—then book the slot.
Want a one-page “First-Gig What-Ifs” card to print? Say the word and I’ll share the template.
This series, the content and any observations or suggestions made are based on my personal experience, anonymised to protect privacy. Nothing here is financial, legal, or medical advice - please seek professional guidance for your own situation.