What I’d Do Differently (and What I’d Repeat)
TL;DR Start earlier than feels comfortable, refactor without regret, don’t rely solely on algorithms, and listen to emotional cues - they’re operational signals.
You don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm
The moment everything tilts
There were days I wanted to throw my hands up in the air but, as a resilient and proud person, I felt that I couldn’t and shouldn’t do that as it might influence others.
Ultimately, I started to notice the toll this behaviour was having on my health and on how I was turning up for others and myself. I realised the trick was to listen to what that feeling was trying to tell me, then turn it into an operational change.
What’s at stake (for me)
The journal I kept has been a mirror. Looking back over it has revealed patterns worth keeping, and a few I’m done with.
The moment of decision
I decided to keep the structures that made me steadier, kill the habits that drained me, and start a couple of practices I wish I’d adopted sooner.
What I did (the playbook)
Keep
Journals, one board, evaluation days, humane rhythms.
These are all practices that helped me maintain a routine and to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forwards. They also helped me focus on the things that I could control in the face of the looming threat that I had no control over.
Kill
Applying for jobs when I’m tired - if I wanted to put my best foot forwards, then applying for positions when my attention span and quality levels are drifting is not the way to do it.
Trying to be everyone else’s pillar of strength without being that for myself. Ultimately, this started to take its toll and I had to take some personal leave to create space. Definitely put your own oxygen mask on before helping others with theirs
Start
Know your boundaries and don’t be afraid to set them kindly and professionally early on in the piece. I don’t regret the conversations that I had with the people who sought me out for them but I do regret not taking a beat to consider my own needs and how I could fulfil them.
I wish I’d realised that a redundancy payout doesn’t necessarily equate to just your notice period and whatever leave you have owing. Often, contracts and enterprise agreements have a schedule for termination payments. Understanding this and asking for a figure from HR materially influenced my decisions - forewarned is forearmed as they say.
What surprised me
How much consideration I was giving to others, at the cost of considering my own needs
Listening to anger and fatigue as signals changed my calendar for the better
Just how crappy I can let quality of applications get when I’m tired
Leader’s Lens: If you manage people through change
• Help teams build ‘keep/kill/start’ lists post‑announcement to regain momentum.
• Protect recovery the same way you protect delivery.
Diary excerpt (lightly edited, anonymised)
“I have been spending so much time having conversations all around that today my tongue and my throat are so sore that I can’t speak without pain. I can’t even begin to think about trying to support other people when I clearly need to take better care of myself.”
Stage of Grief
Resurrection, Reconstruction
Try this (this week)
• Write your own keep/kill/start for the next 4 weeks.
• Share it with one person who can hold you kindly accountable.
Checklist
□ Keep: journals • one board • evaluation days.
□ Kill: late‑night apps • heroics.
□ Start: set boundaries • early money chats.
If your organisation is navigating change and you want calm, people‑first delivery without the drama, I can help.
This is based on my personal experience, anonymised to protect privacy. Nothing here is financial, legal, or medical advice - please seek professional guidance for your own situation.